Tis the season! January, February and March mean many different things to different people: fresh starts, new promises, broken promises, celebrations of love, singles awareness, black history, St. Patrick’s Day and more. But for me they mean one thing: basketball. Of the college variety. So what if you haven’t caught the March Madness bug yet? So what if you are sick of the multitude of games showing on every sports channel in your area any given day or night of the week? Stop complaining and be proactive. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Here are my 5 tips to becoming a convincing “bandwagon” fan for the team of your choice.
1.)Location, Location, Location. Hey, it works for the real estate business. But seriously, the best way to convince others you are a true fan is to choose a team near where you live. People are less likely to question your loyalty if you share the same state, area code or zip code of your school de jour. For example, when I meet Yankee’s fans that live in my bay area, I always call into question their loyalty, being that they live in Giants and Athletics territory and are cheering for a team all the way across the country. If you choose to represent a team that falls in this category, which I only encourage at your own risk, there are two acceptable options to back up your credibility. The first is to claim that you are originally from this far away place, which is risky given that you may run into someone who knows more about your supposed “old home town” then you. The other option is to say that your parents raised you as a fan of said far away team. Most people will not question familial ties. If you are reading this and live in the Bay Area, I recommend Stanford, Cal or St. Mary’s in that order.
2.) Mascot. This is important because people WILL test your knowledge on this subject, so make sure you choose a school whose mascot you can pronounce, remember and explain if the occasion calls for it. One way to ensure success in this area is to choose a college that has the same mascot as the high school you attended. Not only will you remember, but also as a bonus you can re-use your old gear and pass it off as support for your new school. For example, if your high school mascot was the wildcat, take a look at Kentucky, who is also the Wildcats. If you were the Spartans, then Michigan State is the team for you. If you do decide to go the more obscure route, like the St. Mary’s Gaels or the University of San Francisco Dons, it would help to know that a Gael is a British knight and a Don is Spanish bandit, much like Zorro. I would like to put to bed the myth that all girls pick their favorites by choosing the team with the “prettiest” colors. This is outrageous. While there are some girls that do that, most of us are a little more knowledgeable. Give us a little credit. When choosing a team, the mascot and color scheme go together. I suggest again looking at teams that had similar colors to your high school for an easy and inexpensive way to “show your colors.” Also if you are a professional sports person and already have a steady team, it’s not a bad idea to match up colors. For example, if you are a Lakers fan, purple and gold, then you might want to consider LSU. Or if you prefer Celtics green, then check out the Oregon Ducks.
3.) Terminology. Now that you are fitted to walk the walk, you have to outfit your vocabulary so you can talk the talk. Even if you know nothing about basketball, there are several key words and phrases to learn that can hide your ignorance. First, rankings refer to the number in front of the team’s name, indicating how good they are and where they stand on a national level. Rivalry week is pretty self-explanatory, as long as you know who your rival is. A “bucket” is a basket and generally worth two points. A “technical” is an especially aggressive and abrasive foul, causing the other team to shoot 2 free throws unguarded. “And one” means that a player was fouled going to the basket and managed to get their shot off, make it and get a free throw in the process. And if you cant pronounce Mike Krzyzewski, the head coach of the Duke Blue Devils, then forget about it. (Its said like Sha-shef-ski) Just call him Coach K.
4.) Research. Now that you have chosen your school, we come to the most important step in this process: inform yourself so you can defend your choice to others. I’m not talking about extensive research, but the more you know the less your loyalty will be called into question and the more debates and spirited conversation you can join in. The basic information you should know is this: what league they play in (ACC, Big 10, Big 12, Pac-10), who their biggest rival is (Cal v. Stanford, Duke v. North Carolina), best and most notable player or players, their record (wins and losses) and strength of schedule (who they play that is ranked or outside their conference). Other than that, how deep you go is up to you. But the more tidbits and smaller facts you can remember, the better off you are.
5.) Conviction. The last step involves taking all the information you have garnered about your new bandwagon team and putting it to good use. Always defend your team, even when they lose and do so passionately. Stick to your guns. The more emotion you convey when talking about your team, the more believable you will be. It is ok to get visibly upset when your team loses or overly excited when they win. Throw around some of your new vocabulary, make confident comments about the game you are watching and stand by what you say, even if there is suspicion that you may be wrong. Sports fans are a stubborn bunch so don’t back down until someone pulls up Google or Wikipedia on their cell phone.
Welcome to my world! Fake it until you make it, and I guarantee that when March rolls around you will find yourself getting caught up in the magic of the tournament.
